…then I thought about those who suffer at the holidays for losses that abundant love didn’t prevent, and I changed my mind. Love doesn’t always save lives, and I think it’s important to be sensitive to that. Losses aren’t always deaths, either, though they can hurt as much and feel as absolute. Loss of partnership, friendship, regard, connection, career, independence—regret and futility, whatever the source, are quite ruthlessly painful. Nonetheless, love can save lives at times, and what better use of a heart? I was reminded of its redemptive quality when I read this piece.

Best wishes for 2020, with 20/20 vision, clarity, purpose, health, and l-o-v-e.




I, for one, will be glad to see the end of 2019, despite the challenges that lie ahead. Text and image copyrights held by me. My posts have gotten shorter as I deal with other things. As ever, I’m grateful for your reading. If you enjoyed this piece, please consider sharing it with anyone you feel might like it, too. Bonne Annee, Tanti Auguri, Freues Neues.




          • This is incredible.

            Even as there are more and more cases of family violence and concurrent child abuse being reported each year, often low to medium level intervention (like the social worker Jocelyn mentioned) only target the parents and not the children. Moving cases upwards from Jocelyn’s agency into our CPS (high risk) requires a lot of paperwork and effort, families do fall thru the cracks.

            This is powerful, involving the children, hearing their voices, listening to them!


            • I’m glad I shared it, then, and will make time to watch it at some point. In my department, children are the “identified clients,” and collateral work with parents, and/or family work, is striven for but not uncommonly resisted or rejected by parents, kids, or both. Many parents want professionals to “fix” their kids, whether through counseling or through medication, or a combination of the two. In my work with families, I advocate for every voice to be heard. I should add that really the appropriate word here is “caregivers,” as due to a drug crisis in the catchment area, many kids are being raised by relatives, sometimes great-grandparents, or foster providers.


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